Frequently Asked Questions

๐Ÿ›’ Orders

Q: How can I check the status of my order?

A: When your order ships, we will send you a shipping notification email with tracking information. Sometimes it takes 24 hours for the tracking number to update your shipment information.

Q: What confirmation e-mail? I didn't get one!

A: If your credit card was charged and you didn't receive an order confirmation e-mail, it is possible you entered the wrong e-mail address. Please contact us with your name, billing address and order number so we can assist you.

๐Ÿšš Shipping

Q: How quickly do you ship after I make a purchase?

A: We're on it! Orders are typically shipped the next business day.

Q: Where are you shipping from?

A: Straight out of Ocala, Florida โ€“ the heart of nerd and geek territory!

Q: What shipping methods are available?

A: We primarily use the United States Postal Service for all our wizardry and shipments.

Q: How long until my treasures arrive?

  • USPS Ground Advantageย packages usually take 2-5 business days.
  • Want it faster? Opt for Priority Mail upgrade at checkout.
  • Priority Mail typically reaches you in 2-3 days.
  • For our friends in Alaska and Hawaii, please be patient as ground services can be slower.

Q: Can you ship to APO/FPOs and PO Boxes?

A: Absolutely! If USPS can reach it, so can we. Just ensure your address details are accurate.

Q: Do you ship to Puerto Rico, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, and the U.S. Virgin Islands?

A: Yes, we do! We're all about spreading the love (and loot) to every corner we can reach.

Q: My package is marked as delivered, but I can't find it. What now?

A: Don't panic! Check with your household first. If it's still missing, contact your local USPS with the delivery confirmation number. They can use geolocation to track it down. If it's a neighborly mix-up, it usually gets resolved in a day or two.

๐Ÿ”„ Returns

Q: I received the wrong item. What should I do?

A: Our bad! If we've sent you the wrong item, we'll cover all costs to set things right. This kind of mix-up is rare, but we're here to fix it swiftly.

Q: What if I don't like the item I received?

A: No worries! You can return unused items, but there will be a restocking fee to cover our shipping costs. Please include all original packaging and tags.

๐Ÿ“ฌ Contact Us

Got more questions? Our communication portals are open! Contact us here, and Nicholas (our resident nerd-in-chief) will get back to you within 24 hours, unless he's off embracing his inner geek at a convention. We promise a response faster than a warp drive activation!

๐Ÿค” Other Questions

No One: What are your favorite pirate jokes?

A: I thought you would never ask!

Everyone: We didn't! Don't do it, Nicholas!

A: We'll do a mixture of jokes with the drawn out "R" and plain ol' good bad dad jokes.

Everyone: We hate you! We're going to stop reading and start shopping.

A: Why are pirates, pirates?ย  Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

A: What has 8 arms, 8 lets and 8 eyes? 8 pirates!

A. What did the pirate say when he went on Wheel of Fortune?ย  I'd like to buy an eye!

A: What kind of socks to pirates wear? Arrrrrrgyle (and also "crew" socks from Nerd Imports) That's right bad jokes AND merchandise plugs at no extra cost to you!

A: What did the ocean say to the pirate captain?ย  Nothing it just waved.

A: What is a pirates favorite letter?ย  You might think it's R, but it's the C they are in love with.

A: What is a pirates backup occupation?ย  Arrrrrchitect.

A: What do you call a pirate with 2 eyes, 2 legs and 2 arms? A rookie!

A: What happened to Red Beard the pirate when he fell into the blue sea?ย  He got marooned!

A: Here's something they forget about at renaissance faires during pirate week: Pirates used to carry a bar of soap on their belt.ย  That way if they were knocked overboard they could wash themselves ashore!ย 

Everyone: I can't believe you're still doing these jokes!

A: But that's not all!ย  You see when they wash themselves ashore, they won't go hungry there because of all the sandwiches there (sand which is there).

A: How much did the pirate pay for her haircut? A buccaneer! It's also worth noting that a buck an ear is a high price to pay for corn.

A: Did you hear about the pirate ship I just bought? It was on sail!

A: It was a model sea (Tesla jokes too).

Nassau Apple $3.99


Cherry $4.29


Cream $3.75

ย These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

A: 3.14% of sailors are pi-rates.