Frequently Asked Questions

🛒 Orders

Q: How can I check the status of my order?

🚚 Shipping

Q: How quickly do you ship after I make a purchase?

A: We're on it! Orders are typically shipped the next business day.

Q: Where are you shipping from?

A: Straight out of Ocala, Florida – the heart of nerd and geek territory!

Q: What shipping methods are available?

A: We primarily use the United States Postal Service for all our wizardry and shipments.

Q: How long until my treasures arrive?

• USPS Ground Advantage packages usually take 2-5 business days.
• Want it faster? Opt for Priority Mail upgrade at checkout.
• Priority Mail typically reaches you in 2-3 days.
• For our friends in Alaska and Hawaii, please be patient as ground services can be slower.

Q: Can you ship to APO/FPOs and PO Boxes?

A: Absolutely! If USPS can reach it, so can we. Just ensure your address details are accurate.

Q: Do you ship to Puerto Rico, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, and the U.S. Virgin Islands?

A: Yes, we do! We're all about spreading the love (and loot) to every corner we can reach.

Q: My package is marked as delivered, but I can't find it. What now?

A: Don't panic! Check with your household first. If it's still missing, contact your local USPS with the delivery confirmation number. They can use geolocation to track it down. If it's a neighborly mix-up, it usually gets resolved in a day or two.

🔄 Returns

Q: I received the wrong item. What should I do?

A: Our bad! If we've sent you the wrong item, we'll cover all costs to set things right. This kind of mix-up is rare, but we're here to fix it swiftly.

Q: What if I don't like the item I received?

A: No worries! You can return unused items, but there will be a restocking fee to cover our shipping costs. Please include all original packaging and tags.

📬 Contact Us

Got more questions? Our communication portals are open! Contact us here, and Nicholas (our resident nerd-in-chief) will get back to you within 24 hours, unless he's off embracing his inner geek at a convention. We promise a response faster than a warp drive activation!

🤔 Other Questions

No One: What are your favorite pirate jokes?

A: I thought you would never ask!

Everyone: We didn't! Don't do it, Nicholas!

A: We'll do a mixture of jokes with the drawn out "R" and plain ol' good bad dad jokes.

Everyone: We hate you! We're going to stop reading and start shopping.

A: Why are pirates, pirates?  Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

A: What has 8 arms, 8 lets and 8 eyes? 8 pirates!

A. What did the pirate say when he went on Wheel of Fortune?  I'd like to buy an eye!

A: What kind of socks to pirates wear? Arrrrrrgyle (and also "crew" socks from Nerd Imports) That's right bad jokes AND merchandise plugs at no extra cost to you!

A: What did the ocean say to the pirate captain?  Nothing it just waved.

A: What is a pirates favorite letter?  You might think it's R, but it's the C they are in love with.

A: What is a pirates backup occupation?  Arrrrrchitect.

A: What do you call a pirate with 2 eyes, 2 legs and 2 arms? A rookie!

A: What happened to Red Beard the pirate when he fell into the blue sea?  He got marooned!

A: Here's something they forget about at renaissance faires during pirate week: Pirates used to carry a bar of soap on their belt.  That way if they were knocked overboard they could wash themselves ashore! 

Everyone: I can't believe you're still doing these jokes!

A: But that's not all!  You see when they wash themselves ashore, they won't go hungry there because of all the sandwiches there (sand which is there).

A: How much did the pirate pay for her haircut? A buccaneer! It's also worth noting that a buck an ear is a high price to pay for corn.

A: Did you hear about the pirate ship I just bought? It was on sail!

A: It was a model sea (Tesla jokes too).

Nassau	Apple	$3.99
Kingston	Cherry	$4.29
Port-au-Prince	Cream	$3.75

 These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

A: 3.14% of sailors are pi-rates.